We just finished Passover, the holiday that transitions us from a slave nation to free people, able to worship G-d in our own manner. There’s a famous song at the end of the Passover Seder that says “dayeinu” - it would have been enough. It goes through step by step of each thing that G-d did for us and says if that alone was all He had done it would have been enough. At our Seder, the first year in a long time we weren’t with a table full of relatives or friends, I brought up a thought on this idea. If we had only learned social distancing but hadn’t had to quarantine and lock down - it would have been enough. We would have learned a lesson. If we had quarantine and covering up in public, it would have been enough to learn a lesson. Every additional layer of restrictions we are given - we learn just how nice that old freedom was. And we see how important it is for us to appreciate every small aspect of our lives.
Coronavirus- and in general a worldwide pandemic- has definitely put a lot into perspective. We can look at the world with a new lens. We can see and appreciate the things in our lives we have lost focus on. But it is also kind of enough at this point. There’s a pop song with the lyrics I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you” - sometimes that is kind of how I feel these days.
I hate corona because it is making us live in fear. We are scared for our relatives and friends, we want everyone to just be safe and healthy.
I don’t hate that I have been forced to have extended time alone with my family - and yet I hate that we are all stuck together with no outlets so that one persons bad mood can really affect the entire house.
I hate corona because it isn’t allowing us to see friends normally and interact - and yet I like that all the pressure of getting things just so for other people is gone for now.
I love that the world has gotten some priorities in order and set people straight about what is and isn’t important in our lives. I hate that it comes at such a price.
How does any of this relate to parenting? Especially parenting teens? It doesn’t. I’m finding it a particularly difficult time to enforce rules. I never expected to be fighting with my kids about what is and isn’t essential to run to the grocery store for (candy? No!). Struggling over what types of outdoor social distance visiting is appropriate. These are new and scary challenges - trying to stress the urgency of what is happening without seeming alarmist. Hoping and praying they won’t learn to take it seriously by it hitting too close to home.
The states are adding restrictions by the week and yet how are we, as parents, supposed to enforce them? Today I have more questions than answers.
What I can say is this - this is a new era. I don’t know what will be after corona - but like 9/11 - things won’t look the same. Everyone theorizes about what is and isn’t “dead” post corona - will we shake hands ever again? Will we have movie theaters? Will we all make it our new norm to grocery shop in gloves ? Who knows.
Right now I’m just fighting to stay sane every day. To take it as it comes. To try and give everyone space now and then since we all need some. Wishing just a little they’d give me that same space when it all becomes too much and we just need to breathe. And doing my best to enjoy the times when they’re all happy to sit down and play a game together to pass the time.
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