What We Don’t Know

 What we don’t know could fill a book, right?

A while ago I posed a question about trying to see other people’s parenting motives from a different perspective. I asked my readers how they see this issue - where you see a parent acting a certain way and you just jump to judge if they’re handling a situation properly. 

I never did get to publish those answers - I might have mentioned some in a different post. At this point there are too many posts for me to scroll through and see so if this is a repeat, forgive me. Some things are kind of worth repeating anyways. 

The best answer I got on this question was from my sister. She said everyone loves their children. If you can remind yourself of that, you’ll never jump too fast to judge them. Clearly whatever choices they’re making they feel they are best for their children. They might be making the wrong choices but usually it’s at least for the right reasons.

I had a thought to add to that amazing answer. We have no clue what battles are being waged in anyone’s lives. Everything can seem so calm and “instaperfect” from the outside but that tells us nothing of what is actually happening in those lives. Everyone has their struggles and every parent at any given moment is dealing with myriad issues in their own and their children’s lives we most likely know nothing about. We have discussed normalization of mental health issues in the past but as a society we are so far from being there. People aren’t necessarily going to explain to you the why of what they’re doing with their kids. And frankly they shouldn’t have to - it’s their own business. 

I feel like it’s a good thing to remember this in our everyday lives. Instead of seeking to judge or criticize others parenting - let’s seek to empathize with them. Whether or not we understand what they’re dealing with - we all know raising kids is never simple. Let’s be partners, teammates, a support system of parents instead of the peanut gallery. 

New Year - Moving Forward

 If you’d ask most people, I think they’d say 2020 was a bust. I don’t agree but I can see their point. When 2020 began, I wrote a post about my hope for the year - of it being one of Vision.  I believe in many ways it was - perhaps it taught us more about clarity and priorities than we ever imagined possible. 

This weekend, 2021 began. I heard a fantastic clip from a speech given by Stacey Abrams this morning which very much resonated with me. She said she moves forward because moving backwards isn’t an option and standing still isn’t enough. 2020 has taught us lessons. It has tested us. It has forced us to adjust. Prioritize. Rethink. But the time has come to move forward. We are ready for the new normal. We are ready for 2021.  Two things struck me that I wanted to share.

First, as we’ve discussed in the past, creating the new normal - the post corona world - is a unique opportunity.  I don’t believe we need to go back to what was. We can choose what things we’d like to bring back into our lives and what things we’ve been better off without. What a unique opportunity.

Second, often in life we dwell. Things happen and pull us down. Life happens. Unexpected circumstances arise. Our job as parents (and people) is to keep moving forward. Take the next step. Show our children that we don’t live in that past or hold onto that reality. We can move forward with hope and energy. Yes, this past year was tiring and trying. No, the pandemic is not yet history. But we are able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The vaccine is slowly making its way to us. The next steps will take patience but change is always a slow process. 

I wish everyone a safe year, filled with happiness and good health. A year full of hope and new and better normals.