Settling In

It’s that point in the year again - finally settling into some sort of routine. The holiday season is over and regular school is here. This is a time that always reminds me of the pros and cons of routine. 

I’m a person who thrives on routine in many ways. I like the predictable. I function best in an organized environment where I know what to do and when to do it. I think it helps kids to have a solid routine, they know what’s coming and what’s expected of them.

But routine has its pitfalls - it can make us complacent and stilted. There has to be some counterbalance not to become boring. 

This year I’ve upended my regular routine and taken on what feels to me like a huge challenge. I’m not even sure when the idea started to germinate but at some point it was just there and grew. I decided to take on a full marathon - something many people have done the world over and yet to me wasn’t even on my radar a few years ago. 

I put in the work, ran the long training distances - met the “wall” and pushed against it. I’m one week away from the big day and all there is left to do is run the thing. 

But like most things in life - there’s always a but. Silly mundane things can change your approach. Silly mis-steps like stubbing your toe. And so, 8 days out, instead of following the plan - here I am resting in my bed with my foot elevated and iced and skipping my run. 

But these things, like most hiccups, shouldn’t deter you. They’re just our small reminders that with the best laid plans, we’re truly not in control. That routines are made to be broken sometimes.  That it’s ok to go off script.

Why am I rambling about this on a parenting blog? Honestly probably two reasons. First, when you’re training for something big, your life kind of begins to revolve around it. Second, because I really think this lesson applies to most things in life and especially with our kids. 

You can do everything right or everything wrong with planning for your kids. You can have the best routines and structures and supports in place for their success. But ultimately you can’t control their outcomes. 

They are small humans who become big humans. They have their own ways of doing things, seeing things, approaching things. They will have their challenges despite whatever effort you make to pave a smooth path for them. 

These challenges will build them if you give them the right tools and attitudes towards them. The ability to know the routine exists will allow them to bend and mold it to the style that works best for them. 

The key element is to set them up for success but not to bind them to your version of routine or structure; Respecting their world view. 

As someone who hasn’t yet run an actual marathon, I won’t make the reference of something difficult being like running one - too cliche and overused - but hopefully in 8 days …