Summertime … reset

 Summer is here again. This past year has been an interesting one. The world is struggling with how to transition back to “normal” post pandemic. Some people can’t leave it behind while others are ready to erase it completely. I’m assuming that for some of your kids, this was a productive and growth oriented year while for others school was a struggle, social dynamics made their lives difficult. I’ve watched different dynamics in my kids lives this year and figured this would be a good time to discuss how to recover from a challenging school year. I know this will only apply to some parents but my guess is that at some point it’ll apply to all. 

So here you are in the beginning of summer break. Your child struggled in school this year. Maybe it was academic, maybe social - but by the time the door closed behind them last week the sigh of relief was audible.  How can you help them recover and reset to have both a rejuvenating summer and face school next year with a positive attitude?

Arthur Brooks, a social scientist and Harvard professor who often discusses how to build happiness, said “You can’t alter history. You can, however, change your perception of it.” The way we frame our past experiences changes how we treat them.  If you allow your past to be baggage, it will weigh you down. Retelling the story in a way that allows you to grow, learn and not repeat the same mistakes or experiences will change your future.

Once your child has calmed and relaxed some after the stresses of the year - do a deeper dive into what happened.

 If it was academic issues - did they learn to self advocate? Did they learn something about how they learn or need to structure their learning to make it better work for them? Start finding the positive twist and use it to fuel their future learning. 

Social stress? Did they feel left out of a popular group? Get too invested in the class drama? Help them figure out where the issues stemmed from and what they can take away from it. Friendships may have shifted. People may have changed. The kid who was always their go-to best friend might have turned into the popular kid who no longer cares for them or shares similar interests.  Helping them find what they learned about themselves and how they changed can help them navigate the next steps.

“Let it go” - once you have hashed and dissected the year - help them move on.  When a topic is rehashed it doesn’t get better. Steer the conversations forward. Help them focus on the here and now. Encourage some space and distance from the experience.  

Recharge - Spend time outdoors. Rediscover the things they enjoy without the pressures of school and homework and myriad other things that get in the way. Try your best not to over-program them so they have no downtime.  Going from a bad year to a treadmill summer isn’t always the answer. 

TBH, as they say, it’s not just the kids that need this after they have a challenging year - you probably need it too.  You listened and navigated and dealt with the daily stresses of having an unhappy child this past year. Find what you need to reshape, reset and recharge.

Happy summer break!