Monday, March 18, 2024

Run for your life



 I woke up on my birthday in San Diego and went for a run. The marina was a beautiful spot to start the morning. The trip was going well - winter break and a nice change of weather from the DC areas cold temperatures. My phone rang, my husband calling, quite unusual during a run. Had I checked my texts, he wanted to know. I hadn’t and he asked me to stop and take a look. And there were two plane tickets - a birthday gift. The dates and times working perfectly to accommodate two races I had my eyes on. “But I’m not sure I want to train for a marathon” - probably not my most gracious response to such a thoughtful gift. Don’t worry, he assured me, you can just go have an amazing trip and not run the races. He knew - and probably so did I - that I would train for and run the races. And so marathon training began. 

Every training block is a growth experience. You push your body hard, put in a lot of time, and learn a lot about what you’re made of and what you’re capable of. This training block was the first I did during the winter. I naively thought it would be easier than summer training in the sweltering heat and humidity that is Washington summer. Little did I think what it would be like to have to run hours in such cold temperatures you couldn’t feel your fingers. My nephew Meir, spending his fourth year learning in Israel, was parallel training with me. Our plan was to run a marathon together and have trained together, just 6,000 miles apart. We kept each other updated about status and progress. We planned our runs and methods. Sent WhatsApp messages mid 20 milers to share how we were faring and feeling. “Ten miles in, 20 degrees out, can’t feel my hands to type so hope this speech to text message makes sense” was a common one I sent. He’d run Saturday nights (ah to be 21 and run post shabbos food!) and hit the hills of Jerusalem while cranking out 18 to 20 miles. “Met a group of runners from Mir Yeshiva who are fast and just held on for 15 miles!”  The entire experience was amazing. 

Then, as often happens during a training block, I hit a “slight hiccup.”  My genetic lottery with cardiac history caught up with me and I was diagnosed with coronary artery disease. I was unsure whether I would be allowed to run my races. Thank G-d, after starting medication, becoming a mostly pescatarian and passing several medical tests I was given the go ahead. Marathon - here we come!

Twelve days before the race I flew to Israel to spend a week there. Race 1 was the Jerusalem 10k. Since I was tapering for a full marathon- I didn’t want to push it on distance or effort. It was a privilege to be part of the 40,000 people who gathered and ran to show the world that Am Yisroel Chai! We Jews are not going anywhere! It felt like an incredible celebration of our communal perseverance.  I spent the week visiting with my many relatives in Israel and volunteering for the war effort. I went on a trip to the south and bore witness to some of the atrocities committed on 10.7. I picked clementines at a farm that lost all their farmhands, packed packages for families that were displaced and barbecued for soldiers. It was wonderful and fulfilling. For the first time since October 7th, I felt I could do something to help. I even had the privilege of spending time with one of my running heroes, Beatie Deutsch!

After a wonderful week in Israel, peppered with taper runs with my nephew Meir along the light rail in Jerusalem and the beach in Tel Aviv, we headed to Amsterdam. With me were my husband Dan, my son Meir and my nephew Meir.  We tried to experience the wholesome parts of Amsterdam - saw their museum with national treasures such as Rembrandt’s night watch and Vermeer’s Milkmaid. We delved into Van Gogh. Saw Heineken beer being made. The boys biked the canals, we walked and saw their parks. We spent shabbos at Chabad. We were race ready!

Sunday morning Meir and I made our way by bus and tram to the start line. Along with several hundred runners we prepared to conquer 26.2 miles. 

As the race began, we decided to not only run the race but grow from it. We played a game where every mile we chose a memory to remember it by and a lesson to share. We tried to keep it up for the better part of the first 20 miles. After that, it was all heart and focus!


Some of the key lessons we shared from our running journeys:


1 - You can get used to anything. 

Meir shared that even if at first you try something and aren’t sure it’s for you - keep at it. You can and likely will end up liking it (especially if it’s good for you). 

2 - It’s the journey not the destination. 

The marathon (or anything you’re working towards) is just the celebration of what you’ve worked so hard to achieve. 

3 - You never regret doing something hard. 

I don’t think there’s a time where you go out and work hard on something and regret putting in the time and effort. Even if it’s hard to take that first step towards it, you’ll be glad you did. This brought back a memory of my hardest run during this training block. Temperatures were in the teens and I was ready to give up (I had even forgotten gloves) when I met Greg, a friend of mine, and despite the misery outside he was smiling. I asked how he did it and he said — I think to myself - wouldn’t it be nice to end this day with a 90 minute run - and I know the only way to do that is to get out there. 

4 - focus on the mile you are in.

Sometimes we need to focus on the forest, other time take it tree by tree. It can get overwhelming thinking about the full extent of what you need to do - so keep to the mile or the step you’re in and you’ll get there eventually.

5 - Conquer the morning win the day. 

Who doesn’t feel like a million bucks when by 9 am you’ve already accomplished more than most people have in a day?! 

6 - you can get through anything. 

This reminded me of a song I heard a lot during my training - sometimes it all gets a little too much but you’ve gotta realize that soon the fog will clear up. Even if the current thing is trying, you know you’re made of strong stuff and you can get through it. You just need to take it one mile at a time. Acknowledging the hard but knowing you can get through it. 

7 - Hobbies can get you anywhere. 

If we weren’t both such avid runners, would we ever have planned a trip to a European country together to sightsee? I told Meir he is in fact one of over 35 nieces and nephews I have - I try not to have favorites 😂 

8 - Don’t make a decision on a hill. 

Life can be hard but never make a big decision during the hard times. Wait until some of the emotion passes, some of the struggle seems achievable, and then decide your next best move. During a hard time, things often look black and white. The nuance usually comes once you have a little time and space to process. 

9 - Never judge people

Runners come in all types, sizes shapes and forms- just reminded us that you can never judge someone. We saw one boy in particular whose foot was turned completely - and he ran an entire marathon!

10 - It’s only a race against yourself. 

You don’t need to be better than anyone else - you just need to be your best self. 

11 - Look how far you’ve come. 

Sometimes it’s important not only to look forward to see what’s left - but to reflect back and see how far you’ve made it until now. 

12 - You’re never truly alone. 

Whether it’s during a solo run or a time where you feel alone - you always have more support than you realize. Lean on your family, friends and community- they’re there for you. 

13 - Light at the end of the tunnel. 

It’s always there, even if it’s around a bend and you can’t quite see it yet. 

14 - Don’t just run, grow

In everything you do in life - don’t just do the activity - grow from it. Pause. Figure out what you can take with you forward. 

15 - Consistency is key. 

Chazarah, chazarah! Keep doing things, steady, build things brick by brick. 

16 - Nothing worth doing ever came easy. 

If you worked hard to get there, you’ll usually take pride in the accomplishment!

Good things take time.

17 - Be in the moment 

Pause. Click. Don’t let life pass you by. 

18 - nothing and no one should stand in the way of your goals (definitely not your aunt who is 24 years older and might not have the same energy at this point in the race)!

Our brains got a bit fuzzy at this point and we were working off my friend Kenny’s rule “First ten with head. Second ten with legs. Last 10K with heart.”  So we switched off at this point and tried to pick up some speed.

Key memories from the race:

1 - Start line - so much energy. Jumping warmup!

2 - British guy - one man decided to run in a British flag costume. As a joke Meir said to him “so are you from Ireland?” and with a total straight face the guy said “No north of England.”  Was that British humor or did he miss the joke ??

3 - soccer players - in the neighborhood fields we passed there were kids playing the favorite European sport. 

4 - canal - this mile felt like running through a postcard. 


5 - bridge - the Amsterdam terrain is so flat we joked that the bridges were the hills of this marathon. 

6 - flowers - fields full of them. No tulips yet but spring was in the air. 

7 - runners - a different wave - possibly the 10k runners - were passing us fast in the opposite direction. We cheered each other on. 

8 - windmill - another picturesque moment where we saw a real Dutch windmill 


9 - graffiti in the tunnel - seeing all different parts of Amsterdam 

10 - baby with white hair - it was so bright white it was definitely Nordic. Reminded me of my nephew Meir who I was running with and Batsheva (my daughter) who’s the same age. They looked like twins as babies. 

11 - track - a loop around the local track with loads of spectators. We joked it was speed work time. 

12 - runner from silver spring - and what are the chances we meet someone who’s even heard of silver spring, Maryland in the middle of Amsterdam- let alone someone whose father lives there!

13 - houses on the water - aside from houseboats, we saw houses on the water whose porches were in the canal

14 - river - another unreal expanse to run along. Postcard!

15 - sheep - casually had herds next to us. 

16 - airport - we hadn’t realized how far we’d go until we saw signs for the airport!

17 - bike pacer - one woman had a friend ride alongside her the entire race - talk about being supportive!

18 - “Rochel” - because the language can pronounce the “ch” someone cheered me on and said my name right!

19 - cherry blossoms - an entire grove in full bloom

20 - Meir Schwartz realizing we paced so perfectly his legs still had loads to give - I told him to refer to lesson 18 and go for it in the last 10k!

21 - Shetland ponies - reminded me of the Iceland ponies. 

22 - cows - so much wildlife on the rural parts of this route 

23 - trying to pick up speed for the last 5k. Meir succeeded amazingly at this. Cut his miles by 1-2 minutes per mile. My legs were somewhat in protest when I tried 😅

24 - getting so close you can feel it in your bones. 

25 - encouraging runners who were stopping to walk that we were so close!

26 - Finish line - just gunning it as fast as the legs would take me once I could see the finish line. 






Meir set a personal best with a 4:08. I was a bit more hesitant to enter the pain cave and decided to keep steady. I finished my 4th marathon in 4:22. I’m beyond grateful to have been able to cross the finish line again. ❤️ 💪 🦵! Honored and privileged to be part of this experience. 



Wednesday, January 24, 2024

WHY



 In 2021, I started to consider the idea of training for a marathon for the first time. When I tossed it out on a track run one morning, my friend Shlomo immediately said “before you even think about it, you have to know your WHY.”  I didn't even hesitate and said "of course I know my why.  I'm a mom who has been so busy caring for everyone else for so many years, it's time to focus on me."  I thought it was a funny question for a mom. Running is the only ME time I was getting - it seemed a no brainer to take on more of that. Bless my ignorance! You want more ME time - train for a 5k, 10k, even a half. You definitely don’t need a marathon to get ME time. Get your nails done or take a quiet walk.  But I was naive and thought I got it. We were coming off COVID, I was coming off several years of parenting multiple teens, my husband launching his own company, and a host of other things that together had made for some very stressful years. I thought I knew my WHY. 

As that first training cycle progressed - I learned a lot about marathon training. I learned even more about myself.  Marathon long runs take more than time and effort - they take determination, persistence and a whole lot of self confidence you thought you had until you hit mile X and everything comes crashing down on you.  There’s so much more mental work than I ever imagined.  To put it mildly, there’s a lot of soul-searching by mile 17… You have to keep at it even when you’re tired, sore, unmotivated.  You realize a whole new meaning to the idea that nothing worthwhile comes without hard work, blood, sweat and tears.  I learned so much that first go-round.  My first race didn’t turn out as planned (read my post on it here)  but I learned more and more about the WHY and I thought I got it.  I worked on mental fortitude, believing in myself and still I knew I had so much more to learn.  

I ran an off the books marathon ((read about it here) without the race trimmings and medals to show myself I could. It was perfect, time and effort.  I thought I might be done...but of course I signed up for another official marathon the next year.  I battled injury and made it through the race (post here) and felt on top of the world.  I really thought I got what the WHY meant.  

I took a year off of marathons and built up my base.  I ran and swam and strength trained. I married off another child and welcomed another grandchild into my life. The chaos was amazing but I felt I had to prove to myself I still had it in me. I thought I might need another goal.  I wanted to recreate my unofficial race in actual race conditions.  I went back and forth about whether to give it another go but then the world around me devolved into war and chaos. I put off the idea of signing up.  Then my husband surprised me with tickets to run a marathon abroad that he knew I was toying with (no pressure, we can just have a fun trip there...he said) and I the figured fourth time around I will have conquered the doubts - I know what I’m capable of.  My WHY has been so clear to me for so long -- I got this.  

Like giving birth, we get fuzzy on the details of things past but we remember the glory.  I am going through the process now, trying to grow from and enjoy the journey.  Set mental goals for myself.  I tell myself not to attach to outcomes, to just work step by step through the process. Some runs are euphoric, some are a slog.  I vacillate between anticipation and nerves. The WHY becomes hazy, I try and figure out what it is that’s driving me, that pushes me.  I think I have this luxury.  And then one day, everything changes.  

Pause.  Rewind 20+ years.  I lost my Dad when I was 23 to a heart attack.  Even before he died, heart health was a big ticket item in our house.  He knew he had coronary artery disease - we have some super Ashkenazi Jewish genes when it comes to cardiac health.  My Dad was a vegan, a runner and on top of it all.  His death came as a shock and the trauma from losing him is something I have worked through for years.  You're too young to lose a parent in your 20's - they're supposed to be there to see you grow up for real.  Since his passing, heart health has always been on my WHY list.  I've tried to live a healthy lifestyle, to eat well and exercise.  I thought I might be able to outrun the genetic pool (literally) or take after the other side ... and all of that seemed to be working.  Turns out that all of that was good work, but it didn't stop the gene pool from picking me.  I found out I have one of the genetic cardiac issues that run in the family.  Thankfully, G-d sent me a great Dr. who ran the right tests and found the problem and we're working on it - but my reality has changed.  Prevention mode over, fight mode on.

So back to the WHY.  

 So much truth stares us down and we just don’t make eye contact. The WHY isn’t one thing - it never is.  We are complex humans.  What drives us changes as we change.  What pushes us forward evolves as the world evolves.  If we are lucky, we grow and change.  We figure out our disparate parts and try to find a way to fit them together.

There are so many distinct parts of the WHY, none more true that the other.  There is no one WHY.  It is multifaceted.  I thought the WHY was all about me, but it turns out this changed my perspective.  In the end of the day, if I have to dig deep - the WHY was always THEM, not ME.  I have been working and shaping and creating the person I want to be for my children.  I want to refill the cup to give to them.  And their kids.  It is complicated yet fairly simple - I want to be around for them.  I want to be the best version of me and give the best that I can so that they have what they need to thrive.  It is probably what every mother wants deep down at the end of the day.  You might not need to run marathons to discover it...

I know I'll still have days when I forget the WHY, when I have a long run looming and I'm not sure I have what it takes - but I also know that I'll keep fighting every day - every mom has a dose of warrior running through her veins.

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche

So take a minute or two - think about what makes ... 

                       Whole Happy You

                       What Heals You

                       Discover your WHY


(This quote was in my weekly journal on the week I got the news.  Hello universe, I’m listening …)