Musings of a Marathon training mama
Pre Race
I’m heading towards my first marathon and decided it was about time I wrote some of my thoughts down. So here goes-
Recently I’ve thought a lot about the training and planning that I’ve put into this. Probably more than almost anything I’ve done in my life. Funny how I likely planned more for this than my wedding, having kids or any life changing event. I think I’ve learned so many lessons from this entire experience -
“You have to run your own race” - when we would do our speed work on the track it was easy to fall into the feeling of I have to keep up or why can’t I go as fast as someone else here. But my friend wisely counseled me one week saying - you have to run your own race. What a life lesson - we need to stop all the comparison, being someone or doing something because others expect it. Because others are doing it. In this life, it’s only our own race that matters.
“Make a plan”- true marathon training requires discipline. Building up the stamina to keep running despite whatever is thrown at you takes months of training. Getting out there, running one long run after another - week after week - takes a level of discipline and commitment to the plan. If only we could think through our life goals with the same sort of plan. How amazing would it be if we decided to tackle a character trait or bad habit with the same type of planned approach and we stuck to it.
“Be flexible or you’ll get injured” - even with the plan and keeping to it, you need to be flexible. If you wake up on your day for speed-work and your legs are cramping or you’re supposed to do a long run but something doesn’t feel right - you need to be able to tweak and adjust. Still getting those elements in but not necessarily as you had planned them. Life needs flexibility- there’s almost nothing I can elaborate on for that because it is self explanatory!
“No excuses” - if we waited for all the pieces to fall into place for the “perfect run” - it’s likely we would never get out the door. There will always be reasons why you can’t do something, the trick is to find the reasons you can and always focus on them. Some of my longest and hardest training runs were in terrible conditions. I’ve run in extremely hot temperatures with 90% humidity, I’ve run after sleepless nights and with bad stomach aches. Every one of them reinforced this lesson.
“You can accomplish as much as you tell yourself you can” - the power of your mind is incredible. You are only as limited as you tell yourself. When you believe you can do something, when you tell yourself you’re capable and it’s possible, your body follows. On so many of my long runs I saw this - the minute I started to think about being tired, my body slowed down. If I told myself the end was near and I could push through my body just listened to those instructions. So much of our life can be changed if we just realized that our attitude and approach controls the actual outcomes.
“Trust in the process” - there are so many times you just want to go for it - run the full distance and just be finished. But the process is almost like building a house. You have to dig deep, set the foundation, and lay brick by brick. You don’t usually see the full picture until the house is built. If you skip steps ultimately the house won’t stand or last.
“It takes a village” - this pretty much goes without saying. You can do this yourself but it is so much better with everyone’s support. I benefited from having an amazing running group who helped me get out the door for the last few years, rain or shine. I am lucky to have more than one group to run with who teach me everything from how to build lung capacity to how to marathon plan and train. Without the support of my family, letting me get out there whether it is or isn’t convenient - I couldn’t have done this at my age and stage.
“Invest in yourself” - all too often life keeps moving and we’re so busy with the business of it we forget to LIVE. As a mom and wife, I’m often busy with the needs of others. Investing in myself gave me a chance to remember who I am, what I’m capable of and how much learning I still have to do no matter what age I am.
“Be able to conquer the out and back” - when you’re running, there isn’t always a perfect loop to run. I had a hard time conquering the idea of going out and back over and over. On short distances it never bothered me, but the longer runs really started to make it hard. I would turn around and be like - shoot I have to run the same thing again?! Life is about routines and it’s easy to get stuck in the routine rut. The ability to repeat tasks and find nuance, energy and excitement is something that needs constant work. By the end of my training, I was able to run these routes without trepidation and focus on different elements of my run while I covered the same ground.
“Every step is forward” - I love the idea of moving and growing in life. One particular long run all I wanted was to go forward - it made me think about how we can spend our lives looking back, dwelling, regretting or we can choose to always look forward, move on and take what lessons we can to do it better next time.
“The journey is the destination” - not everything is about the big race day. Every ounce of effort that we put in along the way is a priceless gift to ourselves. Yes, the race is exciting (and somewhat terrifying) but what we’ve gained along the way is the ultimate reward.
“Keep your eye on the prize” - there will be good days and bad ones. Easy runs. Hard runs. In the end, every one stacks up to help you reach your goal. You won’t feel great every time you start. Most days the first couple miles will feel like a massive effort and you’ll wonder how you ran 16 the other day but 3 are so hard today. In the end, the big picture is what you gotta focus on.
“You put in the effort but ultimately G-d is in control of the outcome” - it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking you did this, you put in the work and effort and it’s because of you that you succeeded. In the end of the day, the health abs strength is a gift from a higher power. Always keep it in mind and be thankful every day.
People who haven’t run a marathon often say “this or that is like running a marathon” or “life is a marathon”. In truth, it would be great if all of us lived our lives as if we were running a marathon!
Post race endnote:
I finished my first marathon today. I still can’t believe I made it through. It was not the race I planned for and I didn’t make my time goal - but I am humbled by the accomplishment and by the gift of being able to push through even when I felt pretty awful. Had I kept to plan I might have made it in my planned time but I trusted others to set the pace and they didn’t quite keep to the plan. I didn’t trust my gut and by the time I realized it was a bit too late to recover my speed. But I learned a lot from this experience.
Luckily my wise running friend told me beforehand that the journey is the destination. That gives me comfort post race since this was a totally different experience than I had imagined.
My first thought when things got rough was you have to run your own race. And sometimes the race you plan isn’t the one G-d had in mind for you. And I thought how maybe I needed some humbling - that what I thought would be a totally doable goal was out of my reach. When I realized I had to let go of my time goal and walk a little to reset I was disappointed but then I realized that I was blessed to have no cramps, no places that were extremely painful. Hashem had blessed me with a race where my body was working. I was fighting nausea and dizziness mostly. Likely a combo of going out too hard on the first half (rookie mistake) and not drinking enough and the cold. I kept pushing, stopping another two times to try to reset my body before I could push more. I learned that it’s ok to feel bad and acknowledge that voice but that I had a louder voice pushing me, telling me quitting was not an option and I was going to finish.
I literally said “hey Siri text husband” at mile 21 and told my husband I felt like crap - and he was so encouraging and told me I could do it and they were all at mile 22 so just push a little more. Coming past my entire family cheering and holding out their hands for me in a long line pushed me through. It reminded me that the village is real and they are my biggest cheerleaders. I knew I had to get through for myself and for them.
By the time I got close to mile 24, I knew I was so close. I kept telling myself I’ve done way longer distances than 2 miles. Seeing my family at the finish line was the fuel I needed to surge.
After I had finished my sister asked me how it was and I told her it was really tough. She told me that every time I passed them I had a smile and they had no idea what I was dealing with. We both realized it was a reminder of the age old lesson - just because everything looks ok to someone on the outside doesn’t mean things are ok. It also reminded me that no matter how tough something is, you can always put on a smile.
Overall, I’m so honored and privileged to have been able to have this experience. I keep reminding myself that the goal was the finish line and I made it. Technicalities aside, I am so grateful to G-d for giving me the good health to do this. I am so grateful for my supportive husband and kids who enabled me to train. And for the incredible running community I’m part of who make me feel like I always belong.
