Responsibility

The other day I was thinking about how long this pandemic has gripped the world - I don’t think anyone would have guessed when this all began that we would be trapped in this chaos for months. And while some places have slowly began the climb towards a new normalcy and some reopening, the steps and stages are staggered and slow. At the same time, so many people have had enough and decided it’s time to go back to the way things were. “What do we need to be so crazy about - let’s just get it and get it over with.”  That’s a sentiment I’ve heard from a lot of people. Teens especially. They feel they’ve been good for long enough and the times has come to restart life. 

I get it. It’s chaos. We’re bored. Trapped. Sick of masks. Sick of distance. 

But we can’t just give up. The long haul is rough but it’s necessary. 

So how can we help our kids (and ourselves) understand the responsibility we have to do our part? To keep plugging away despite the frustration? To realize that if every person does their part we can actually make this go away for good?

It’s a tough call - especially when our national leaders are not taking it seriously. When they watch other adults being irresponsible. When so many factions are making the people who are being careful out to be the crazy/paranoid/hyper ones. 

So here I am grappling with teaching about the collective responsibility. I’ve felt this even more with planning a wedding. It’s an amazing and exciting time, yet the responsibility of everyone attending is on us. We can’t force people to follow rules but we have to set up a system to do our best to ensure their safety. It’s a daunting task. 

Obviously there’s no one thing we can do to teach our kids to feel collective responsibility. Not every house can be a beacon of environmental responsibility or every parent the superstar of the community. Our lives are busy. We can try our best to make time for things outside our regular

lives but it is a struggle. 

So what can we do? 

Normally I’d say use facts to back up your discussion. But the facts are fluid these days and most people don’t trust them at this point - so they may be a weak link in your chain. 

Broken record aside, we must model. If we aren’t keeping rules and showing respect for the issues they definitely won’t feel any need. If you’ve taken to mocking mask wearers or given up any form of distancing, you can  expect your kids to follow suit. 

Second, responsibility starts with small things. We can’t expect a child to take on global responsibility when they can’t even account for themselves. When my kids were toilet training, my pediatrician counseled me to make them clean up their own accidents. Seems crazy, but after once or twice they just didn’t have accidents. If we give them responsibility in their own lives, they learn how to be held accountable. Don’t just do things for them because it’s easier and faster - let them learn and grow from their mistakes. They won’t always do it right but eventually they’ll get it. 

Involve them in the household responsibilities. You don’t have to give them chores if that’s not your mode - but cleaning the house all together or any other group household project makes them part of the responsibilities. If you do it consistently, they’ll begin to (hopefully) see it as their norm. 

Show them the big picture. Involve them in your communal activities. Volunteer with them. I love seeing families go to feed the homeless, clean up the parks, you name it. There’s so much out there for them to be a part of. The more you expose them to it, the more connected they begin to feel to causes. 

We can’t expect to wake up one day with kids who feel a sense of global responsibility, but one day at a time we can build a better world for them to be part of and, together, fight this pandemic and get back to some better normal.