Don't Look Back

I don't get much time to write lately.  Between work, kids, and marathon training (what was I thinking??) time is kind of at a premium currently.  But those long Sunday runs for my training do give me a lot of time to think.  This week, I didn't want to do an "out and back" where I retrace my steps for the second half of the run and my husband so generously offered to pick me up at the end so I could just go forward.  It got me thinking about how much running and training teaches you so much about life in general.  Two really quick examples - 

• When I run and I'm getting stuck in a rut, I think about putting one foot in front of the other.  Not always thinking about how long I have to go, just one step at a time.
• When I run and I pick a destination - I don't look back.  Reflecting is good, don't get me wrong, but moving forward and not dwelling is key.  It doesn't matter what happened before, it only matters what happens next.

So...how does this relate to parenting? Funny you should ask.

I was thinking about how often we dwell or fixate on what type of kid we have.  I was recently discussing with someone how all too often, kids get labeled as ...

• weak student/strong student
• wild/calm
•  cooperative/disobedient
• you name it...

Sometimes we get so stuck on seeing a child in the light of certain events or experiences and we forget about giving them the space and the ability to be more than just their label.  Behaviors don't define our children.  Behaviors have many sources.  They can be the result of a stage they are going through.  They almost always are expressions of something going on inside them that needs to be broached or figured out.  But they are not the be all and end all of what your child IS.  They should not define how we approach them or how educators view them.

Yom Kippur is approaching, a time of reflection, forgiveness, introspection.  I'd like to encourage everyone to take this time to look forward, move forward, and see forward.  If we all try to see our kids as people, individuals expressing themselves in a variety of ways, to not type or label them but to just see their behaviors for what they are, I hope we can move forward into this new year with a fresh attitude and giving our kids a fresh start.

My destination for this week's run

Life really is like going round and round this track - just watch for the sunrises, they do make it worthwhile