Monday, January 18, 2021

What We Don’t Know

 What we don’t know could fill a book, right?

A while ago I posed a question about trying to see other people’s parenting motives from a different perspective. I asked my readers how they see this issue - where you see a parent acting a certain way and you just jump to judge if they’re handling a situation properly. 

I never did get to publish those answers - I might have mentioned some in a different post. At this point there are too many posts for me to scroll through and see so if this is a repeat, forgive me. Some things are kind of worth repeating anyways. 

The best answer I got on this question was from my sister. She said everyone loves their children. If you can remind yourself of that, you’ll never jump too fast to judge them. Clearly whatever choices they’re making they feel they are best for their children. They might be making the wrong choices but usually it’s at least for the right reasons.

I had a thought to add to that amazing answer. We have no clue what battles are being waged in anyone’s lives. Everything can seem so calm and “instaperfect” from the outside but that tells us nothing of what is actually happening in those lives. Everyone has their struggles and every parent at any given moment is dealing with myriad issues in their own and their children’s lives we most likely know nothing about. We have discussed normalization of mental health issues in the past but as a society we are so far from being there. People aren’t necessarily going to explain to you the why of what they’re doing with their kids. And frankly they shouldn’t have to - it’s their own business. 

I feel like it’s a good thing to remember this in our everyday lives. Instead of seeking to judge or criticize others parenting - let’s seek to empathize with them. Whether or not we understand what they’re dealing with - we all know raising kids is never simple. Let’s be partners, teammates, a support system of parents instead of the peanut gallery. 

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