Own It

I had a funny conversation with someone this week which went along these lines :

(Them) My kids are always in my bed

(Me) That’s awful

(Them) Can’t do anything about it cuz there a few close together in age

(Me) I had 4 under 5 and they weren’t in my bed...

(Them) I’m out of excuses

Ok I’ll own it - it sounded superior - but that wasn’t the point of this post. We all have things that are crucial for us in our parenting. Sleep wasn’t negotiable for me when my kids were little - without sleep I’m not a great person to be around. Knowing that about myself I was always crazy about their sleep schedules when I had a lot of little kids. What we decide to as parents is our choice. 

If you feel the need to make excuses for a behavior then you are not owning it. If you’re the parent who believes in a curfew, don’t apologize for it. You have thought through your decisions and standards and set up a certain system or way of parenting in your own house. If you believe in what you are doing you have nothing to apologize for. 

Back to the bed - if you believe in the family bed and want that to be a part of your children’s upbringing that is your prerogative. You don’t have to apologize for it. If your kids are In your bed because you are too tired to get up and take care of them and train them then that is lazy parenting. Decide and own it. If you’re apologizing for it, it’s because you don’t believe it’s the right thing to do. 

In general, I think it’s crucial for us to think through the choices we make in our parenting. Sometimes real life takes over and things get chaotic. This past week (as some of you who know me know already) my daughter got engaged. All schedule was off the table. The night before we made a little outdoor engagement party, the house was a wreck and my 6 year old was rollerblading around the house at 10 pm as I cleaned up. Yes, I was lazy parenting because I didn’t want to make the time to put her to bed, but life gets in the way. 

I’m not talking about the exceptions - we all live in the real world. I’m talking about the rule - the day to day. The choices we make and the effects they have. 

Own it or change it - excuses should be a thing of the past.