Politics

 I tend to stay far away from the subject of politics- everyone is very sensitive about it and often people feel so strongly about their positions as to make it an incredibly difficult topic. So this post will not be about the actual political issues of our times or take a side or pick a candidate. My intention here is to discuss how we approach politics with our children. 

Anyone who watched the debate last night (or should we call it the debacle?) knows that politics in our day and age has devolved into a game of name calling and attacking and has very little to do with the actual issues at hand and more to do with the people talking. We’ve discussed The art of debate in the past and thought through the way to approach debating with our kids. 

What I’m more concerned with when I think of politics is twofold. I want to make sure my kids understand what is happening in the world of politics and I want them to be able to step back and define what they believe in and who they choose to support.  

To the first point, I think it’s important to discuss what the issues are in our political climate. In broad terms, I think they should be taught how the government works in whatever country they reside in. I don’t think they need a civics lesson at five, but each according to their age should be able to understand some basics. Part of feeling a part of a system is understanding that system. As they get older, their knowledge expands and the details emerge. I’m always sad when a grown adult can’t name the three branches of the American system. Once they understand the basics, they can begin to understand the nuance. What do parties basically stand for - what issues are important to them and key to being in a certain one. As they get older, discussing current events helps them understand the world we live in. I’ve always taken my kids with me when I vote - obviously this year will be different - but I wanted them to take pride in the freedom to choose your own government. And I definitely share my personal political view with them. 

Once they have a general sense of what the system itself is they can begin to Look at the particular players and decide who they like and who they don’t like. I encourage open discussion about the different options. I encourage a discussion based on facts especially. If they choose people because they’re pretty or funny that’s not substance. Try to stick to facts and positions. Let their choices be informed. Challenge them and see if they can come up with substantive reasons for their decisions. One of my kids has very different political views than I do, and we spar and debate - but I always go back to the facts - defend your position with substance. I don’t want to hear that so and so is stupid or funny. I want to hear why you would agree with their approach. 

When it comes to politics - like everything else with our kids - they are the future. If we want to raise leaders, informed voters, responsible citizens - we can set the stage for that when they are young and impressionable. We can choose to make courteous civil discussions and model respectful dialogue so that as they grow up they can be the people at the table who everyone knows can have a level headed, open and honest discussion despite whatever their particular political beliefs. 

Day of Judgement

Yom Kippur is approaching - the day of judgement for the Jewish people. It gets pretty much everyone thinking. There’s tremendous introspection that goes on. We spend time reviewing what’s gone on the past year, what course corrections we need, who we’ve wronged and we try to make amends. 

So before I begin - I’ll apologize if anything I’ve written on this blog has been found offensive to any of my readers.  I’ve tried to bring support and camaraderie in our parenting journey together but inevitably I’m sure there are times I rub wrong Or sound preachy - please know it’s unintentional.

All this judgement discussion gets me thinking about the judgements we constantly make in our own lives, of others, for our kids, in all aspects and how we can improve (or possibly call a halt to) the cycle of judging others. 

In a discussion with a friend of mine a few years ago I made a comment that “I don’t judge people I’m just observing” and she said point blank - “we all judge people.”  If I’m being totally honest I think she’s right. When I sit back and think about it - my first reaction is a judgement and then I go into rationalizing mode. Trying to understand someone else’s approach. 

Lately My kids tell me on the daily that I’m always judging everyone’s corona approach - there will be a discussion about how X went on and we’ll inevitably raise an eyebrow wrong or sound surprised that some thing or another came up. A few weeks ago I met a small child walking and I definitely was judging their parents allowing them to walk solo in the neighborhood- I’ll own it straight up - I was shocked. So how can we stop the judging and bring more acceptance into our lives, our attitudes, our approaches?

This week - I’m opening the floor up to you, my readers, and asking. My next post will feature some amazing advice from parents who respond and give all of us ideas on how to make us less “judgey” and more accepting in our approaches. I welcome any and all suggestions. 

The Back to School Update

 Well by now most of you have your kids back in some form of school. For some of us, we’re just calling it Zool at this point 😛.  And while some kids are coping with this new and very different way to get back to learning, others are struggling. 

One amazing thing I’ve heard from parents whose kids have gone back in person is how absolutely resilient kids are - being able to be in masks for an entire day and really not even complaining about it. So much of what I’ve been hearing has reminded me of the old story with the person who complained about their house being too small and crowded. The advice they get is to bring in the animals from their farm one by one.  Once they have an overly filled house and are really at the end of their patience, they’re told to take them out - one by one. After the last one leaves, they marvel how big their house really is. Sometimes, I feel like corona has taught us just how amazing normal really was. The simple privilege of going to school in person is something we clearly can’t take for granted. 

In a lot of ways we’ve been bringing up a privileged generation. We assume they deserve everything. We give them technology to make everything accessible at all times and it fosters a culture of ME.  If this pandemic has taught all of us anything- maybe it’s more about US and patience. That it’s not all a given. It can remind us to reset our priorities and think about what message we really want to be sending and how the things were doing reflect that message.

For those of us who haven’t gotten to that stage - you have my sympathy!  I can’t say I see an upside to Zoom school aside from liking seeing my kids more often. Educationally I think they benefit from in person learning far more. I’m incredibly impressed with my second grade daughters setup - the school has done a great job understanding the need for smaller groups, more movement breaks and everything else which I am appreciative of and she’s tolerating it better than her older sibs. 

As we head towards the Jewish new year - I pray for a year filled with good health, safety and some semblance of in person life once again. 

Wishing you all the best in the months ahead.